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Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
Since I’m heading back to Jersey for my stand-up show this weekend, Brandon decided to get me a crimper to get back to my roots.
Chelsea Handler
This is not an endorsement. I drink cannabis. #bert
Chelsea Handler
Me coming out of my room this am to find these two fuckers waiting for me!!! Yes! It has happened! They understand that I live in my house, too! #bertandbernice
Chelsea Handler
Big Daddy waiting for Mabel to bring him snacks in bed.
Chelsea Handler
Thank you, Seattle. I love this city and I love all of you for coming out and seeing my show. I’ll be back soon! #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 @annabellegurwitch1 📸 @mattlambphoto
Chelsea Handler
All independent bookstores who have copies of my books in upcoming tour cities, please let us know so I can swing by and sign them. Seattle, Atlanta, Montclair, Westbury, L.I., St. Louis, Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans. 💁🏼‍♀️🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
Chelsea Handler
Thank you, Portland, for an awesome show last night and thank you to everyone for this whole tour. It has brought me back to stand-up, something I never thought I wanted to do again, and I’m loving it. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 - 📸 @mattlambphoto
Chelsea Handler
Episode 5 of my podcast is here! With my psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, listen to him explain my personality type (and yours). It's the Enneagram Episode. 🍊 Link in bio to listen. #lifewillbethedeathofme
Chelsea Handler
Thank you to everyone who has listened! 🍊🍊🍊 Life Will Be The Death of Me is included in Apples's picks for the Best Audiobooks of the Year! @applebooks #AppleBooks #BestAudiobooks @prhaudio
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
More dates being announced soon! Stand-Up shows added to the US and Australia cities as part of my “Life Will Be the Death of Me” Tour. Get your tickets now, link in bio! 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
Chelsea Handler
I want everyone to know this is what I'm dealing with every day. I've broken 8 straighteners this year alone.
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
For anyone who’s looking for a rainbow today. #yosemite
Chelsea Handler
I’ve avoided our national parks my whole life because of the way my brother died, and this year, I decided that was over. What a great reminder of how absolutely beautiful our world is, and how imperative it is to protect these majestic places. I’m glad these were the last kinds of reminders my brother got to see. It sure makes you believe in all sorts of magic.
Chelsea Handler
I am coming to AUSTRALIA! Adding shows in BRISBANE, SYDNEY and MELBOURNE in October. Come see me on the other side of the world for my stand-up show. #lifewillbethedeathofme | 🍊 PRESALE Tickets now available using code SITDOWN! Get your presale tickets now through ‪Wed 19 Jun, 10am AEST (Tue 18 Jun, 5pm PST).‬ Link in bio for Tickets.
Chelsea Handler
This is my father, Seymour. He was strong and full of life. He loved his children, and we loved him. Except for that time he tried to trick his Jamaican nurse into marrying him. Happy Father’s Day to everyone. 🍓 My dad loved strawberries. #happyfathersday
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
#Repost @chelsanity ・・・ Donate to a cause that is helping women in the state of Georgia get safe access to healthcare. #abortionAF @abortionfront | DONATE 👉 abortionfunds.org - Thank you to everyone who talked about how to get resources to underfunded orgs that matter FOLLOW EVERYONE these women are leaders on the ground whose voices should be amplified. They *should* have a platform on television to talk about communities most direly impacted #weareabortionaf follow, donate, amplify. Thank you to all involved for last night and the opportunity to do more.
Chelsea Handler
When it comes to the kitchen. I Decide. #lifewillbethedeathofme
Chelsea Handler
#tbt To the first time I shaved Bert so I could see what kind of meat he was packing. #chowchow
Chelsea Handler
Episode 4 of my podcast is out! @conniebritton and I talked all about taking your dog's Xanax during my show in Dallas. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊Link in bio to listen.
Chelsea Handler
#Repost @shaunking ・・・ Cops in Miami, Florida prepared to Taser a man that they already had subdued. Cop instead accidentally Tasers himself. I’d sincerely like to see that cop then take commands and orders while he is being electrocuted. Of course it would be impossible. It’s gross that our nation even has the option of electrocution. Over 1,000 people have died from being electrocuted by police.
Chelsea Handler
#Repost @benbrunotraining ・・・ When you’ve maxed out the dumbbells... #bernice preparing for my stand-up comedy tour. New cities added.
Chelsea Handler
This is where Bert sits when he has to wait 20 minutes after his lunch before he swims. #thelionking #bert
Chelsea Handler
My baby bert on my bosom. #breastfeeding
Chelsea Handler
Bert has picked up some of his sisters bedroom behavior. #bertandbernice
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler
#Repost @wsl ・・・ The surfers have pledged to #StopTrashingWaves. What's yours? Make the pledge at wslpure.org @wslpure #wslpure
Chelsea Handler
#repost @michelles_scriptures - This is for all the women out there who I admire.
Chelsea Handler
I just came home from my morning to find my daughter expressing herself through dance. #bernice. The 🍊doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Chelsea Handler
Many people who haven’t read my book keep asking what the orange signifies. It signifies someone handing you a life raft. Someone taking care of you and thinking of you. When my psychiatrist Dan handed me an orange he had picked from his tree—was when I finally was able to cry. My friend @mindfulskatergirl sent me this pic and it perfectly says what the orange means to me. We should all be putting our arms around each other and handing out oranges to anyone who needs them. A reminder that we are all in this together. I had a problem with the color orange after the election, and I needed to take the orange back. It’s mine again. It’s ours. Its to give to another person when they need it the most. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
Chelsea Handler
Episode 3 of my podcast is live. Meeting my psychiatrist, Dr. Dan Siegel. Link in bio to listen. 🎧 #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler | I finally cooked something I can eat!
Chelsea Handler
Like a virgin.
Chelsea Handler
Look, guys, I’m a virgin again. Barrettes and everything! Thanks toots @christinesymondshair and boobs @jamiemakeup and @teamcoco 🍊
Chelsea Handler
Episode 3 of my podcast comes out this Thursday where I’ll discuss my therapy with my psychiatrist Dan Siegel. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊🧘🏼‍♂️
Chelsea Handler
Bernice here making the same face I made when I first discovered my Coslopus. Get it girl. #bertandbernice #chowchow
Chelsea Handler
We went sailing today in the San Francisco Bay and this is a lifestyle I would like to get on board with. A man who can ski and also sail would be awesome. Very little English required. This is my nugget, Seneca who is just bursting into womanhood. #sanfrancisco
Chelsea Handler
Sarah and I reenacting the time we both went to see Harvard’s Krokodiloes sing acapella and ended up on our knees. 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme @sarahkatesilverman 📷: @christuitephoto
Chelsea Handler
Update - @geof_wills, head of Comedy at Live Nation is still a virgin.
Chelsea Handler
Getting ready for Phoenix show @comericatheatre where I get to get interviewed by my bestie @marycmccormack #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
Chelsea Handler
Thank you LOS ANGELES and to my special guest @leahremini 🍊🤸🏼‍♂️ #lifewillbethedeathofme 📸 @timothynorris
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Handler | More Therapy - Working hours popping off
Chelsea Handler
New cities announced! Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans, St. Louis. Presale has begun for new shows added to my "Life Will Be the Death of Me" tour. Presale code: SITDOWN. Link in bio for tickets. #lifewillbethedeathofme #nashville #stlouis #minneapolis #neworleans
Chelsea Handler
The aftermath of a frisky 3-day weekend. Obviously Bernice is tired from trying to corner Bert into non-consensual activities. #bertandbernice
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  • Chelsea Handler

    Since I’m heading back to Jersey for my stand-up show this weekend, Brandon decided to get me a crimper to get back to my roots.
  • Chelsea Handler

    This is not an endorsement. I drink cannabis. #bert
  • Chelsea Handler

  • Chelsea Handler

    Me coming out of my room this am to find these two fuckers waiting for me!!! Yes! It has happened! They understand that I live in my house, too! #bertandbernice
  • Chelsea Handler

    Big Daddy waiting for Mabel to bring him snacks in bed.
  • Chelsea Handler

    Thank you, Seattle. I love this city and I love all of you for coming out and seeing my show. I’ll be back soon! #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 @annabellegurwitch1 📸 @mattlambphoto
  • Chelsea Handler

    All independent bookstores who have copies of my books in upcoming tour cities, please let us know so I can swing by and sign them. Seattle, Atlanta, Montclair, Westbury, L.I., St. Louis, Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans. 💁🏼‍♀️🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
  • Chelsea Handler

    Thank you, Portland, for an awesome show last night and thank you to everyone for this whole tour. It has brought me back to stand-up, something I never thought I wanted to do again, and I’m loving it. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊 - 📸 @mattlambphoto
  • Chelsea Handler

  • Chelsea Handler

    Episode 5 of my podcast is here! With my psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, listen to him explain my personality type (and yours). It's the Enneagram Episode. 🍊 Link in bio to listen. #lifewillbethedeathofme
  • Chelsea Handler

    Thank you to everyone who has listened! 🍊🍊🍊 Life Will Be The Death of Me is included in Apples's picks for the Best Audiobooks of the Year! @applebooks #AppleBooks #BestAudiobooks @prhaudio
  • Chelsea Handler

  • Chelsea Handler

    More dates being announced soon! Stand-Up shows added to the US and Australia cities as part of my “Life Will Be the Death of Me” Tour. Get your tickets now, link in bio! 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme
  • Chelsea Handler

    I want everyone to know this is what I'm dealing with every day. I've broken 8 straighteners this year alone.
  • Chelsea Handler

  • Chelsea Handler

    For anyone who’s looking for a rainbow today. #yosemite
  • Chelsea Handler

    I’ve avoided our national parks my whole life because of the way my brother died, and this year, I decided that was over. What a great reminder of how absolutely beautiful our world is, and how imperative it is to protect these majestic places. I’m glad these were the last kinds of reminders my brother got to see. It sure makes you believe in all sorts of magic.
  • Chelsea Handler

    I am coming to AUSTRALIA! Adding shows in BRISBANE, SYDNEY and MELBOURNE in October. Come see me on the other side of the world for my stand-up show. #lifewillbethedeathofme | 🍊 PRESALE Tickets now available using code SITDOWN! Get your presale tickets now through ‪Wed 19 Jun, 10am AEST (Tue 18 Jun, 5pm PST).‬ Link in bio for Tickets.
  • Chelsea Handler

    This is my father, Seymour. He was strong and full of life. He loved his children, and we loved him. Except for that time he tried to trick his Jamaican nurse into marrying him. Happy Father’s Day to everyone. 🍓 My dad loved strawberries. #happyfathersday
  • Chelsea Handler

  • Chelsea Handler

    #Repost @chelsanity ・・・ Donate to a cause that is helping women in the state of Georgia get safe access to healthcare. #abortionAF @abortionfront | DONATE 👉 abortionfunds.org - Thank you to everyone who talked about how to get resources to underfunded orgs that matter FOLLOW EVERYONE these women are leaders on the ground whose voices should be amplified. They *should* have a platform on television to talk about communities most direly impacted #weareabortionaf follow, donate, amplify. Thank you to all involved for last night and the opportunity to do more.
  • Chelsea Handler

    When it comes to the kitchen. I Decide. #lifewillbethedeathofme
  • Chelsea Handler

    #tbt To the first time I shaved Bert so I could see what kind of meat he was packing. #chowchow
  • Chelsea Handler

    Episode 4 of my podcast is out! @conniebritton and I talked all about taking your dog's Xanax during my show in Dallas. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊Link in bio to listen.
  • Chelsea Handler

    #Repost @shaunking ・・・ Cops in Miami, Florida prepared to Taser a man that they already had subdued. Cop instead accidentally Tasers himself. I’d sincerely like to see that cop then take commands and orders while he is being electrocuted. Of course it would be impossible. It’s gross that our nation even has the option of electrocution. Over 1,000 people have died from being electrocuted by police.
  • Chelsea Handler

    #Repost @benbrunotraining ・・・ When you’ve maxed out the dumbbells... #bernice preparing for my stand-up comedy tour. New cities added.
  • Chelsea Handler

    This is where Bert sits when he has to wait 20 minutes after his lunch before he swims. #thelionking #bert
  • Chelsea Handler

    My baby bert on my bosom. #breastfeeding
  • Chelsea Handler

    Bert has picked up some of his sisters bedroom behavior. #bertandbernice
  • Chelsea Handler

  • Chelsea Handler

    #Repost @wsl ・・・ The surfers have pledged to #StopTrashingWaves. What's yours? Make the pledge at wslpure.org @wslpure #wslpure
  • Chelsea Handler

    #repost @michelles_scriptures - This is for all the women out there who I admire.
  • Chelsea Handler

    I just came home from my morning to find my daughter expressing herself through dance. #bernice. The 🍊doesn’t fall far from the tree.
  • Chelsea Handler

    Many people who haven’t read my book keep asking what the orange signifies. It signifies someone handing you a life raft. Someone taking care of you and thinking of you. When my psychiatrist Dan handed me an orange he had picked from his tree—was when I finally was able to cry. My friend @mindfulskatergirl sent me this pic and it perfectly says what the orange means to me. We should all be putting our arms around each other and handing out oranges to anyone who needs them. A reminder that we are all in this together. I had a problem with the color orange after the election, and I needed to take the orange back. It’s mine again. It’s ours. Its to give to another person when they need it the most. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
  • Chelsea Handler

    Episode 3 of my podcast is live. Meeting my psychiatrist, Dr. Dan Siegel. Link in bio to listen. 🎧 #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
  • Chelsea Handler

    Chelsea Handler | I finally cooked something I can eat!
  • Chelsea Handler

    Like a virgin.
  • Chelsea Handler

    Look, guys, I’m a virgin again. Barrettes and everything! Thanks toots @christinesymondshair and boobs @jamiemakeup and @teamcoco 🍊
  • Chelsea Handler

    Episode 3 of my podcast comes out this Thursday where I’ll discuss my therapy with my psychiatrist Dan Siegel. #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊🧘🏼‍♂️
  • Chelsea Handler

  • Chelsea Handler

    Bernice here making the same face I made when I first discovered my Coslopus. Get it girl. #bertandbernice #chowchow
  • Chelsea Handler

    We went sailing today in the San Francisco Bay and this is a lifestyle I would like to get on board with. A man who can ski and also sail would be awesome. Very little English required. This is my nugget, Seneca who is just bursting into womanhood. #sanfrancisco
  • Chelsea Handler

    Sarah and I reenacting the time we both went to see Harvard’s Krokodiloes sing acapella and ended up on our knees. 🍊 #lifewillbethedeathofme @sarahkatesilverman 📷: @christuitephoto
  • Chelsea Handler

    Update - @geof_wills, head of Comedy at Live Nation is still a virgin.
  • Chelsea Handler

    Getting ready for Phoenix show @comericatheatre where I get to get interviewed by my bestie @marycmccormack #lifewillbethedeathofme 🍊
  • Chelsea Handler

    Thank you LOS ANGELES and to my special guest @leahremini 🍊🤸🏼‍♂️ #lifewillbethedeathofme 📸 @timothynorris
  • Chelsea Handler

    Chelsea Handler | More Therapy - Working hours popping off
  • Chelsea Handler

    New cities announced! Minneapolis, Nashville, New Orleans, St. Louis. Presale has begun for new shows added to my "Life Will Be the Death of Me" tour. Presale code: SITDOWN. Link in bio for tickets. #lifewillbethedeathofme #nashville #stlouis #minneapolis #neworleans
  • Chelsea Handler

    The aftermath of a frisky 3-day weekend. Obviously Bernice is tired from trying to corner Bert into non-consensual activities. #bertandbernice
  • Chelsea Handler
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