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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle 📸=@lizvig

I’m currently running 4th in the @familyfeud caucuses according to gallop poles. Thank you to all my constituents!

Thank you mom & dad for giving me the perfect combination of DNA (add an E and unscramble it to get my name or EDNA.. whatever). You guys created me in balls and womb, birthing a complex individual.. injecting me unwavering tenacity, heart expanding empathy, reckless belief in creating my own future, loyalty to what some would call a fault but I would call to a translucent constructive blueprint (basically even bad things lead to better ones so don’t fight it). Because of you guys I’m sensitive and sometimes I undervalue myself.. until my backs against the wall or my fronts at the door then I’m virtually undeniable. I love that you both were competitive. Fucking fiercely competitive. Once while driving with you mom we saw my pops at a red light and you both gunned it racing towards the house. Fast and the Furious before any movies did what you did. It was crazy seeing you both do whatever necessary in your cars to beat the other one. My mom got ahead and used a car in another lane to set a pick on my dad. Her laugh to herself when she knew she had him beat I hear coming out of myself when I’m “racing” in my own life. You allowed someone who felt so empty and undervalued as a kid to believe he was the gold standard in whatever I did and I’m doing it again this year. You both brought out the best in your son and I hope you enjoy the next phase. It’s gonna be a hum fucking dinger. #bestofthebest #therents #dangerous

Making @itskelsitaylor smile is one of the greatest feelings in the land.

Right at home.

I’m 6 here, my father was 45. He called me Dangerous, I called him pops. He had a wry wit while I was still a little goof at home but a shy boy out in the world. He was fearless, I was full of fear. Years go by, hard times, amazing times, trying times & curious times. I absorbed the strength of George and although we have some of the same dark corners we both share something simple.. hard work pays off. While others talk, we do. Miss you pops. Can’t wait to show you what I’ve been doing.

A night off with the pup.

Waiting to perform at the @laughfactoryhw last night after a killer gig at @thecomedystore. 📸: @lizvig

When I started comedy in 1990 I was struggling, broke, lost & yet unabashedly thrilled to stand in front of strangers with a microphone in my hand cultivating funny stories to entertain & create. I had discovered my calling as audiences discovered me. For 10 years I dug my heals in and figured it out. When I hit 2000 I was comfortable, making money, realized & fulfilled standing in front of fans with the mic still on and boundless confidence.. I was on the road to not only making it but recreating what stand up was to people at that time. The whole decade played out like I had dreamed it.. until the storms at sea were suddenly my storms at home. For a moment in time I had accomplished everything only to learn the best was ahead. 2010s I’m at the top of my game, the problems of my past have become pieces of a puzzle I solve on my own. No audience, no mic, not about what I had or have.. just the work of someone who wants to have a better sense of self. I come back to comedy in a bigger way with bolder ideas. I direct my own content and own it. I create several businesses and they thrive. I bring my comedy to places I’ve never thought I wanted to be but there I was and enjoying it more than ever. 2020 — just started — but within hours I start to realized this decade is going to be something even more enjoyable. Working with the top tier of likeminded individuals. Taking the audience I’ve grown with and now a generation behind them with me towards something extraordinary. Thx for being in my corner for 30 years. Now.. watch this. #tbt

I made a quick vid recapping my 2019. The original cut had 62 pix so I did my best to cut it down to a few key moments. 2020 is going to be 🔥🔥🔥!!! Fuck what people thought or said or co-signed on or wrote off. It’s a new start, a clean slate so surround yourself with driven people. I can’t wait to share what 2020 is gonna be and how it sets this next few years in motion. Break legs out there!!!! #happynewyear

Every dog has its day. #2020

Merry Christmas!

I give to you the gift of me.

An exciting behind the scenes look at the action taking place in a world we like to call Movie Magic Land! The movie was called Buddy, I played the 53rd lead role, an enigma type-o-fella curiously referred to cryptically as Fair Cop. I was driving #ReneRusso around in search of a primate. I played the role like I had a deep dark secret, something alien was forming inside of me, hours away from shedding my human form for something far more terrifying. Sadly, the sequel was never made due to my busy schedule but in 1997 a struggling comedian got to take on the role of a lifetime and play dress up for a few seconds on film. Moments after this photo was taken I was seen smiling and dancing. #cinematicadventure

Come to my TAPED COMEDY EVENT March 20 & 21 at 8PM at the @BochCenter / Wang Theatre in #Boston MY TAPED COMEDY EVENT!!! TIX ON SALE NOW! THESE WILL GO SUPER FAST SO GET THEM TODAY. TIX & 411 for BOTH SHOWS at DaneCook.com or the link in my bio! Tons of surprises. This isn’t even the biggest one. More. To. Come. Please LIKE & TAG someone who would love to attend this special event. @livenation @livenationcmdy @caafoundation @danecook #standup #comedy #event

A 10 pic video montage of the @StarWars #RiseOfSkywalker premiere! 1. Lawrence Kasdan: I can’t say enough about spending time with Mr. Kasdan the other night. The Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Return of the Jedi.. on and on. His dreams must be epic. 2. @JonKasdan : Talking shop is one of my favorite things to do. Getting into creative discussions spikes my dopamine levels. I left this chat high as a kite. 3. @itskelsitaylor : My date for this event and she radiated more special effects than the movie. 4. Here we are with Chewbacca. He’s actually shorter in real life. 5. This is my date and I taking a pic where we were told we could not take a pic before being told okay we can take it but it made us feel weird. 6. This is me in front of the Star Wars sign. 7. Same as 6 yet not me but her. 8. Dane Solo 9. Darth Vader when I told him he’s a terrible father. Sharing these moments with people I love and admire is why I work hard all the time on my craft. I can’t wait to share more that came from this epic night!

To host SNL was a dream.. to have a holiday sketch that people love to see year after year is bliss. @sethmeyers is awesome.. Rachel Dratch is brilliant.. @andysamberg rocks.. Amy Poehler for the win! For a kid that never got picked to play this team having me in still makes me feel so appreciative. #happyholiday #merryxmas #jinglealltheway

So @itsKelsiTaylor & I are leaving a movie theater in Hollywood Friday night after seeing @AdamSandler’s amazing performance in Uncut Gems. We’re walking back to the car when all of a sudden camera lighting flashes go off like crazy. We chatted with the dude who turned out to be really a nice guy. So thx to @thePaparazziGamer who took this pic we like! So there you have it. Check out his stuff and his YouTube page.. as a fellow gamers it’s cool!! We call this photo Casual Friday Night.

Best buddies since we were tiny tots. @Al_Del_Bene aka Wisenheimer, Puffleupstanance, Mista Dobalina or simply ADB. We bonded at a young age over our love of stand up comedy as well as our passion for all things Prince. We would drive around blaring Prince music and wonder how much pussy Prince got. We imagined it was an insatiable amount. Some years later we got to witness Prince play a private party and we were giddy af when Stevie Wonder joined him and actually joined us since all stood around Prince like we were fans / security personnel. Albert lives with his family on the planet of Australia now where he performs comedy & misses his friend @DaneCook who still lives infamously in the USA (still in operation under current renovation). From high school plays to our first comedy improv group to stages and arenas all over the place I have to say as I hit 30 years performing what a privilege it’s been for Al to have me in his life (wakka wakka) — truly I’m a lucky sob to have at least one real best friend. I can’t speak for Al but I certainly will when I say we found a path and we followed it and stayed true to it and supported each other while doing it and now I’m more famous than he is and that’s okay because love doesn’t care about a lot of cash laying around my house. ADB.. except for 5 years.. my #bestfriend.

Perspective is taking the worst, most traumatic, least celebrated experiences of my life and spinning them into sharable comedic experiences. By making myself the dart and the bullseye I rid myself of having to tip toe around subjects or cascade over real fucking talk. It’s not a secret I’ve been working overtime on my next “thing” but I can assure you it’s going to be twice as interesting once I share the full story, my stories with you and the world. Thx @lizvig for capturing me in the wild here at the @laughfactoryhw.

I’m 17 & my pops 54 years old in this Polaroid pic. It seems like just a few weeks ago I was talking to him about some dream I was gonna try to make come true and he would respond with advice like, “well.. just start mapping it out.. early bird gets the worm” or “make your plan and work your plan.” As the only son of George Cook and Donna Ford I got a unique blend of DNA.. I truly know I have so much of their mutual flair for the creative. My dad was a broadcaster.. athlete, while mom loved to dance and sing! I got the physical shtick.. the confidence the sensitivity and yeah some of their anxieties & complexities.. but mostly I got determination. Thank you for that dad. I wish I could tell you face to face but you can always listen to my heart. #tbt

This is the time of year to give to those who need. This is the time of year to lend a hand and give someone a piece of your heart. I’ve loved working with @bostonchildrens hospital & @childrensLA over the course of my career - they helped me as a child when I needed surgery. Working with @stjude @salvationarmyus @bestbuddies @comicrelief @su2c & many many others has been some of the most gratifying partnerships I’ve had the privilege of being a part of. It can be a toy drive, canned goods drive or just giving of your time serving less fortunate in your community.. it just feels good in your soul to help others. As a kid the @salvationarmyus helped us keep our furnace on. We were cold and they gave us oil for the furnace. I won’t ever forget this. I appreciate the aid of others and it’s my honor to find many ways through my comedy or in a personal ways to give it back and pay it forward.

Those days the weight of the Death Star rests on your shoulders.

As I was saying... #dolbytheatrehollywood

Shot on the summit of Mulholland Drive this is one of my favorite esthetic moments in our film, which I co-wrote & directed, ‘American Typecast.’ Malik Kahn, played wonderfully by @Mo_Abhat, is our focus in a day of perfect misalignment. He struggles to claim his truth in an industry town that confines performers to limited range based on lousy ancient stereotypes. Our film is presenting how empowered we become when we own those tired scripts and create new ones written with inclusion & admiration. Our film has shared many screens this year with stunning short films and now we find ourselves in a small pool of #AcadamyAwards qualifying live action shorts! It’s unreal, surreal & thrilling. We are trying to get eyes on this clip so that maybe the right people voting watch and see the importance of our film in today’s climate. Please SHARE this in your story by clicking the little paper airplane icon below, add post to story & TAG me so I can repost your story in my story. You can also add #AmericanTypecast Thx to all who share it and support it!!

That time @paulmccartney & I made each other laugh. Thx man.. this pic reminds me of the power of “you never know what tomorrow may bring.” #thebeatle & #themonkey

Style icon.. maybe. Fashion maven.. alright. Wardrobe magician.. in-fucking-clothable. Maroon silk dress shirt under the leather over white t is screaming Hi I’m Thursday Night After 10PM it’s a pleasure to meet you!!

Link in my bio.. Black Friday weekend sale starts today. The hoodies are rad plush af.

The day after #Thanksgiving is about getting back into survival mode. Looking at you 2020. Coming to getcha!!

We’ve got two birds in the oven this year. Tom & Jerry we can’t wait to give thanks with your succulence!! @itskelsitaylor & wanna wish you all a very #HappyThanksgiving !!! #gooblegooble

I’ve learned one simple thing from stand up that is an asset and a must in life. It’s all about timing. See whatcha want and start towards it immediately. Not tomorrow.. not next week.. now.

Watching the @patriots put up another W with my crew of sock wearing testosterone pumpin’ bamf football desperados. #wins 📸 by the sexy cool @itskelsitaylor

#dirtyblond #tbt #dyeinguphere

When you are locked out of your house. Turn on the volume and watch @alwayschopper ! Enjoy whilst I go break my window and B&E my very own lodging.

#mondaymood

Final show tonight at the legendary @DolbyTheatre in #LosAngeles. I call this pic, “can I please just get onstage and stop waiting!?” #TellItLikeItIsTour #MakingHistory #StandUp #ILoveMyJobBaby

AMERICAN TYPECAST is a short film that I directed as well as produced & co-wrote w/ its lead actor @Mo_Abhat. After an unprecedented year of prestigious film festival showings, we’re grateful and honored to be recognized by @TheAcademy as one of the Live Action Short Films qualifying for the 2019 Oscars season. We can’t wait to show you more of this film! Tackling a subject matter that is a harsh reality for so many but in a way that incorporates heart & humor. AMERICAN TYPECAST is a film that empowers the audience to embrace that which defines you, as you create that which ignites you. #ForYourConsideration

Let the holiday #refrigeratorwars begin! Just know this. When you come to my house for the holidays. We gotcha covered. This is just the feature act fridge. The headliner is stocked up too. Fuck your fridge.

I wish I could thank each and every one of you personally today. Thank you thank you thank you for your service and sacrifice!! Thank you deeply for allowing me to entertain you throughout the years. My father served in Korea and taught me the value of this level of dedication. I respect it infinitely. Thank you thank you thank you. #veteransday

1 show left back here in #LosAngeles. I mean is there any better way to end a tour? I hit every spot in every city I was hoping to connect with and put on the best comedy show I’ve ever given them. This isn’t the end of anything actually. It’s just the beginning. And don’t worry if you didn’t see the material from the #TellItLikeItIsTour — you will.

As the sun sets on my last 2 weeks of the #TellItLikeItIsTour I’m reflecting on the amount of love and support I’ve continually gotten and currently gained. Continually - fans of now over 20+ years bringing their new families to see my new show. Currently - the droves of new fans seeing me for the first time. Many just kids when their older siblings listened to Harmful If Swallowed, Retaliation or Vicious Circle on repeat while they watched Dan In Real Life our Employee of the Month. The combination of fans from years of the journey coupled with someone experiencing this for the first time... it has brought the best shows of my career out of me. The last show is a the @dolbytheatre in Los Angeles and I’m wrapping it up there.. until.. well.. you will see. #MoreToCome Tix & 411 at DaneCook.com

It’s 1997 and I’ve just moved into my musty Hollywood no bedroom apartment. I’ve got a fridge that is empty that I jokingly refer to my hopes and dreams container. There is a futon in the middle of my bed/living room covered in something no black light could truly understand. I have a next door neighbor who screams angry questions at his wife but she never screams back but I know she nods a lot because his next tirade starts with a response to an answer.. “OH NO REALLY NO?! WELL LET ME ASK YOU THIS!!” Above me is a woman that owns a big dog named Thor.. a beautiful dog with something deep in his ear that he can never quite get because I can hear his back foot slap peddling on the ceiling like Lars Ulrich during a drum solo. I’m new to LA. I’m a struggling comedian. I deal with anxiety. I eat Oreo anything instead of actual substance. I’ve got the drive of a Terminator but the run and hide of Sarah Connor. Hold onto your fuckin’ dreams and don’t drop’em. Take pix like this. Real emotion. Before photoshop and all the jazz we filter ourselves with to hide the pain we all feel. Keep pix like this. I look at this now from a new perspective. Happy to have gone through the perils to be perched.

What did you do tonight? #Arizona #TellItLikeItIsTour

“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed." -- Ray Goforth

I don’t know how to put into words what @alwayschopper is thinking here so please caption this & tag someone who has a dog with better bottom vampire fangs. Oh and get ready for this song to be captured inside your skull for 48 hours. Also for the record Choppers asshole gives off sonar signals to know when danger is near. Obviously it’s not functioning properly here.

This is what it feels like standing a few feet away from a sold out theater that’s waiting for you to take the stage and then suddenly you’re on. #TellItLikeItIsTour

🎤

A weekend of #TellItLikeItIsTour dates with these fools @erikgriffin & @mattrife. We went from Tulsa to Austin & tonight Dallas. DaneCook.com #comedy #funny #standup #mylife

Since people keep asking me where they can see this pic I now say you can see it here. We showed it on Fallon but I wanted to give you all a chance to like it and caption it. Your wish is my command. This was taken around 1995.

Look.. check it out.. truth cargo drop.. I have lived a magnanimous life in the eyes of the public, some of which certainly need corrective glasses but the ones with 20/20 have kept me on their horizon line and in their periscopes whether they rerouted or I took a long-cut or dove to deeper depths. I said in 2002 I take risks so don’t come on board if you don’t dig change. I played dumb newb when I was more advanced AI and I’ve busted out some road earned knowledge in an ignorance hive knowing full well many and most will not wanna hear things for what they are. I do this with my constitution in tact knowing that keeps me away from the rat pack but closer to the cool cat self love, self appreciation you can only get when you are transparent & introspective. In my career I’ve only helped people, given opportunities & championed my fellow performers (not to say I have not played the savage game of H-wood but you can’t invite a narcissist to hold your mirror, a megalomaniac to control your schedule or a moron to make your breakfast so you have to bumper car even on days you wanna just roller coaster) and I can think of a few things that I have ever asked of cohorts besides support and / or collaboration. A career is hard work and gets harder the longer it stretches. Times change, culture changes, opinions, reactions and curiosities all change and it’s up to us to stay present so we can truthfully perform from the heart what we know as who we are receiving it, perceiving it & sometimes surviving it. I’ve had an open door to people who try my whole life and only close it when I need to recuperate myself. This pic has nothing to do with any of this except it’s a big fuck you to bullies & knownothingatalls. You don’t always have to know where you stand but while you are looking make sure you peep out for anyone trying to take others down a few pegs and body them away. Passion vampires hate the light of truth.