Каллэн МакОлифф Инстаграм фото

"Climate change?" you scoff, betwixt guffaws, "Australia has always had fires."⠀ "Right you are," says I, "but it's exacerbating the conditions that make events like this more severe, and more frequent."⠀ ⠀ Much of my audience is either from the USA or Australia - two extraordinary nations presently embarassing themselves on the world stage.⠀ Climate skepticism (and anti-science sentiment in general) is rampant in both countries, and many of you have sent me messages challenging my activism.⠀ So, I'm piggy-backing on my homeland's headlining semi-apocalypse to remind you:⠀ You're fuckin' wrong. ⠀ We've all been wrong before, but you're wrong now - catastrophically, cannibalistically, troglodytically wrong.⠀ It's hardly subjective anymore. It is understood. The overwhelming concensus amongst climate scientists is that anthropogenic climate change is a thing. ⠀ ⠀ I know it's not your fault. A creature of habit, is the human! We're prone to many biases, but you have the world in the palm of your hand now, and are resisting only because it's easier than learning. If you can read this, you can know better.⠀ We have an unusual opportunity to globally unite under a single banner and fight a common enemy: our own past ignorance. All you have to do - if nothing else - is a few impartial google searches.⠀ ⠀ If you don't know where to go from there, here are some other ways to help at an individual level (voting aside):⠀ ⠀ 1. Stop making fun of vegetarians. Eat a plant-rich diet. Start by cutting out red meat (all mammals) - that's where I'm at. Explore and encourage meat substitutes.⠀ 2. Learn about carbon taxation, and talk to your friends/family about it. There is a similar consensus amongst economists about the potential effectiveness of a carbon tax in mitigating climate catastrophe.⠀ Better yet - donate to, or become an active member of the Citizens Climate Lobby. Being an active member is considered by some to be the single most impactful thing one person can do in this fight.⠀ 3. Find your strength to overcome the feedback loop of local circumstance, and resolve to brighten humanity’s future with the rest of us.

Happy new decade, from Sssydney.

. . B̵̛̞̼͈̫̻͇̅̇́̈́͘u̞̰̪̰̮̖͆͊̌͐́͊͝n̮͚̜̯̦̣̪̹̝̐̔͊̓̇͒͞͡ͅy̷̱͇̙̺͑̉͋͋̕̕͟͟͢i̴̢͎̦̣̤̽̀͌̾̽͘ͅp̵̛̪͓͎̻̑̎̅͗͋̓̔̽ͅ.̤̫̦͔̮͂͌̓̒̽͑̈̚͠͞ . .

The Dortmund assortment

“You’re gonna go out there, and you’re gonna promote your generous employers on social media. You’re gonna tell people about the mid-season finale this sunday, and you’re gonna congratulate everybody for wrapping season 10.”

Sydney! From 10:30am on Saturday the 30th of November, I’ll be selling/signing my silly book “The Hill Ghost” at Bondi Westfield’s Harry Hartog Booksellers. Come and chat/help me pay for my flight! (The link to RSVP is in my bio.)

Discolour me impressed.

An impoverished local receives intensive malocclusion treatment from a volunteer orthodontist.

Greetings from Purgatory

Summer Night is only two days away, friends! Can’t wait for you to see it.

Having trouble embodying this character #fanfest

#ciderboys

After @jentlymadecrafts had so beautifully sculpted the Mastiff, @josh_hayes suggested she use her skills to render Blue the seagull. Here they are together! *cries manfully*

Toot, toot! Feelin’ cute.

Georgian winter? #twd

Tonight. #twd

2000 nautical miles. 2 shirts.

Here is a smile. Ta ta for a while.

⁣For the record/book update:⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Thanks to the people who’ve been messaging me about errors I missed in The Hill Ghost! Especially @pixiemyrtle who listed the more egregious examples for me. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I have updated the Ebook, such that:⠀⠀ 1. All those sly homophones hiding in plain sight have been corrected (bare/bear, pray/prey, etc).⠀⠀ 2. The demonic apostrophes have been exorcised wherever “its” had been possessed.⠀⠀ 3. The single “Morrowynd” left over from my last-minute copyright-fearing name changes, has been replaced with the correct name of “Morrannyn”. ⠀⠀ 4. I changed a sentence that was bad.⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ I updated this ebook a while ago, so those of you who purchased it in the last few weeks should have the updated version. These errors charmingly remain in the physical books, but will be corrected if ever I choose to run another print.⠀ ⠀ (Also, this keychain is not for sale, but there are still quite a few signed books up on amazon - so go grab one! Link in bio.)⠀ ⠀⠀ Thanks!⠀

Whatever boat I am, must against the current beat. For my hairline - like the tide - doth retreat.

Alden or Odin? #thewalkingdead Photo - @brittdvorak

新年快乐！ #1995

And beyond. #columbia

Look again - the walkers are now DIAMONDS. #thewalkingdead #february10th

Ad astra per ardua

Thanks @gdayusa for another lovely event. Also thanks @mjbale (suit), @barbaraguillaume (HMU), @statuspr (PR) and @kullillaart / #normancox (bow tie).

⁣⁣⁣“Code red! We’re approaching a ledge with an apparent intent to jump.”⠀⠀⠀ “Copy. Somebody get Instinct on the line.”⠀⠀⠀ “I’ve got them! Patching you through Sir.” ⠀⠀⠀ “We know why you’re calling, and no - we don’t have a clue what’s happening here.”⠀⠀⠀ “Smith, get up to Archives and check for-“⠀⠀⠀ “Already did, Sir. Nothing traumatic, though Motor dropped an Oreo from extremity A2 yesterday.”⠀⠀⠀ “Dammit. What did we miss? Are there women nearby? Are we flexing?”⠀⠀⠀ “Some, but the comms suggest they intend to jump as well.”⠀⠀⠀ “My God, we’re in a cult!”⠀⠀⠀ “Negative, Rationalization has screened the relevant data.”⠀⠀⠀ “Sir! I checked with Archives again! Looks like ‘Assassin’s Creed’ has been flagged.”⠀⠀⠀ “Dammit.”⠀⠀⠀ “And Imagination is saying an eagle just screeched!”⠀⠀⠀ “Did it reverberate through the canyon?”⠀⠀⠀ “Hold. Yes it did.”⠀⠀⠀ “Lord help us.”⠀⠀⠀ “We’re getting a countdown from somebody behind us...”⠀⠀⠀ “Embrace me, Jenkins.”⠀⠀⠀ “We’re tensing for launch!”⠀⠀⠀ “I’ve always loved you, Captain!”⠀⠀⠀ “And I you, Jenky-poo.”⠀⠀⠀ “But Sir! You have a wife!”⠀⠀⠀ “It’s a blow up doll, Jenkins!”⠀⠀⠀ “B-but... I had dinner with you both!”⠀⠀⠀ “I just wiggle the head and do a voice!”⠀⠀⠀ “This is it!”⠀⠀⠀ “Oooooooooohhhhhhhh shiiiii-“⠀⠀⠀ “It’s beautiful!”⠀⠀⠀ “We’re flying!”⠀⠀⠀ “O’ gracious Death! Thou doth permit a final ecstasy!”⠀⠀⠀ “Woah! What-“⠀⠀⠀ “We’re rewinding!”⠀⠀⠀ “God dammit, Mitch. Life IS a simulation.”⠀⠀⠀ “All of you owe me 20 bucks.”⠀⠀⠀ “We’re going down again!”⠀⠀⠀ “Stop everything! I’ve just received word from the Nerve outposts at extremities B1 and 2 that we are tethered to the platform! We’re ‘bungy jumping’!”⠀⠀⠀ “What?”⠀⠀⠀ “Yeah, apparently, in celebration of our 24th birthday, PR wanted to post a picture of us bungy jumping with a caption saying: ‘jumping into 24 like’.”⠀⠀⠀ “Like what?”⠀⠀⠀ “Just ‘like’, perhaps with a colon that implies the picture finishes the sentence.”⠀⠀⠀ “How embarrassing!”⠀⠀⠀⠀ “We’re being hauled back up to the platform!”⠀⠀⠀ “Quickly! Cut the tether!”⠀⠀⠀ “But Sir!”⠀⠀⠀ “Legacy is everything, Jenkins.”⠀⠀⠀ “Not to me. You are my everything.”⠀⠀⠀ “Shut up, Jenkins.”⠀⠀⠀ “Is your wife really a-“⠀⠀ “CUT THE TETHER!”

This Kea wounded my shin with his beak, and my pride with his wiles.

Guys look at this hot fuckin’ picture

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou - to all those who purchased The Hill Ghost! Whether it's on bookshelves or in dumpsters, I'm chuffed to know that my little book has made it all over the world. Apparently they're on every continent except Antarctica, and I might just mail one there myself so I can make the claim without the exception. I can't reply to all your lovely emails (though I'm doing my best), but if I could they would all include something like "please leave a review on Amazon, as it helps me take advantage of the recommendation algorithm so I can reach people who aren't just buying it because they like my eyebrows". ⁣ ⁣ “HELP! AMAZON DOESN’T LIKE MY COUNTRY!”⁣ Many of you, it seems, are living in countries to which Amazon doesn't ship. ⁣ For some places, like the UK, all you have to do is order from the US amazon website, but for others it's not so easy. I recently got word from folks who ordered books to such places (in particular Australia, Canada, and China) using Stackry.com, who said it went smoothly enough. Stackry.com is a "mail forwarding service" that routes items through a US address, so you can order from your neglected nation. Now, mail forwarding can be expensive, so I've temporarily lowered the price of the book, to offset the forwarding charges a little. It was overpriced anyway! The product link is in my bio. If you have questions about the book you can email "Адрес электронной почты защищен от спам-ботов. Для просмотра адреса в вашем браузере должен быть включен Javascript.", though I'm a notoriously slow replier. Thanks again, everybody. (Photo by @chase.q.anderson - somewhere in India)

So... @summernightmovie has been acquired by Samuel Goldwyn films! Coming early next year.

Hey folks - I’ve been talking about this book of mine for a while now, and it’s finally available for purchase! There are limited physical copies - all of which are signed - and there’s an ebook on Amazon too, if you’re into that sort of thing. Anyhow, I wrote this about two years ago, and I remember being quite proud of it. So here it is for you, without another glance from me, for as long as I live. Much love from myself and the mastiff. ——————— (Product link in bio. For the ebook, just search Amazon for “The Hill Ghost”.)

Summer Night!

I lived on this street for seven years. (Coincidentally, Alden is my character’s name on #thewalkingdead )

About last night... #twd @amcthewalkingdead

Where’s your Bryce now, old sport?

Aberzombie? #thewalkingdead #season9

And the vile Procrastor o’er a-hovering said, ‘thou shalt publish zero books,’ and cackled-triumphant. But Callan was a seasoned insubordinate, and from the kiln of isolation drew a novel: ‘Down, darkness!’ he cried with a stomp, ‘and behold that which you so long denied the printer!’ It was “The Hill Ghost” he held aloft, and Damnation’s dark protrusion could not withstand it. Wailing, the demon fell through the earth, to inhibit an entrepreneur in Madagascar. ———————— The printing folks have it! And soon you’ll have it too! (Also I abandoned the audiobook because the sound quality was garbage.) I’ll keep you posted. Адрес электронной почты защищен от спам-ботов. Для просмотра адреса в вашем браузере должен быть включен Javascript.

*dies of dysentery*

They have extraterrestrials here, too.

Begone, foul children, this table wants not your savage squiggles.

Thinking about Elder Scrolls VI.

Over the garden wall.

I know I promised this thing sooner, but the audiobook has been giving me trouble. There are two things at work against the project here: I’m incurably lazy, and I’m apparently a terrible sound engineer. However - all the audio is recorded, so we’re on the home stretch. I appreciate the patience from those invested. Here are some advanced reviews: “An old Tibetan mastiff and his nautically deluded seagull friend defend a flock of sheep against a pack of wolves, and dip their toes in downmarket philosophy.” “McAuliffe utilizes his modest capacities as an author to acceptable effect.” “It’s a bit derivative, if I’m honest, but some parts did make me huff involuntarily - which I think is a kind of reserved laughter.” “Don’t let the cover fool you. This book is as uncultured as the well-reared, occupationally-fortunate, first-world youth who wrote it. Happily, it’s just as pretentious, so there are some nice sentences.” “There was an animal sex scene, which surprised me, but once I’d read the passage four or five times I was quite used to it.” “The author seems like the kind of guy who would stay up late writing fake reviews for his novel, instead of editing the actual audiobook - which he probably needs to finish if he wants to retain any self regard.” Email Адрес электронной почты защищен от спам-ботов. Для просмотра адреса в вашем браузере должен быть включен Javascript. for updates.

“For Instagram? Sure! But only if you caption it with a Noam Chomsky quote about American imperialism, and credit it to ‘Gnome Chomsky’. Oh, and you’ve gotta parenthesize that I told you to do it, so they know I’m as witty as I am informed.” #yesiboughtthese

Permitted - at last - the final answer.

Go see Gringo! It’s a damn good time. Comes out this Friday. @nashedgerton @davidoyelowo @joeledgerton @charlizeafrica @australiansinfilm

Photo: @dylrobinson for @dailytelegraph

Tonight. #thewalkingdead

“Perdition becomes you, Bryce.” Artist: @nokescueta